Getting hit with a curve ball

Less than a week after the second anniversary of the loss of my daughter, a huge curve ball hit me on the night of the 20th October. 

As I settled into bed I noticed an email notification from the Irish Garda. 

I probably should have left reading it until this morning to read but, I  couldn't settle and so I read it...

The email was to inform me that a date was now set for the inquest into Deanies suicide. 

It will be two weeks from today,  4th November. 

This has hit hard as this will end over two years of waiting. 

Then this morning I received a second email that was to inform me of the format of the inquest this email was too difficult to read and did bring me to tears.

The realisation that I will soon have all the details and, eventually, the death certificate has caused a lot of emotional upset. 

I have struggled to control my pain, my grief. 

I will also need to attend the inquest on my own for reasons that not important but, I will have my eldest daughter and her sister so, I'm not going to be alone.

There really is not much more I can say right now but, I had to get this out...